By Brianna Austin
|
By Brianna Austin
|
|
Just as our own
dressing habits evolve over the years, so too does our desires, emotional
state of mind and fantasies. I can remember when going out in public was
the extent of my female goals. Then we seem to go through growth stages
pushing the envelope towards the ultimate girl experience. In the past few
years’ hair removal has become all the craze, and, off late, it seems
that the use of female hormones in the cross-dressing and transgender
community is on the rise. The first change you notice, when taking
hormones, is an amazing softening of the skin (the herbals don’t
compare.) Then, when you get your first estrogen surge you’ll think you
are in girl utopia. Orgasms? All I can say is WOW!!! Many however,
experience a reduction in their erection capability, and those that use
testosterone blockers may even loose the ability to get an erection all
together, but you can still climax, and when you do, you sometimes feel it
from head to toe - leaving you with only the slightest comprehension of
what it must be like for a GG when she has an earth shaking “he rocked
my world” orgasm. Sounds pretty good,
yes? Well it gets better, and worse. Your body will start to shift the fat
content and sure enough your bottom will round, fat will move to your hips
making them appear wider (though the bone structure doesn’t change), you
will loose muscle mass in your legs, arms and back making them appear
leaner and more shapely, and your face will attain secondary female
characteristics (such as a softer appearance, translucent skin &
slower hair growth). Still interested? Well then, keep reading.
About ten months to a
year down the road you will start to feel an itching, soreness and
tenderness on your nipples, and the area surrounding them. A few weeks
later – ever so slowly – the nipples will start to grow, and a gland
– which, your male body never intended for you to have, will have
developed behind the nipples causing the breasts to grow. Hey,
it’s reality check time girls. Did you say you had made the firm
commitment to transition? That you were diagnosed a transsexual and ready
for HRT? No? Then why the hell are you taking hormones idiot? You are now at the
cross roads of a serious dilemma. Either you 1) stop dead in your tracks
2) make the committed decision to fully transition and live as a woman, or
3) live as a man/CD with tits!!!! If you do choose to stop however, it may
be very difficult to give up those changes that you so excitedly welcomed
and have come to enjoy for the past year. How do I know?
Oh, I forgot to tell you – I’m one of the idiots. Dr. Harry Benjamin
wrote papers on transition and his studies became the standard guideline
used by health professionals in regard to transsexuals. They (the
guidelines) are stringent, but in hindsight I now understand their purpose
– to prevent a short-term thrill from becoming a long-term nightmare.
With hormones so easily obtained through foreign manufacturers via the
Internet, too many girls are plunging in and completely ignoring the
mental, emotional and physical preparation required for such a decision,
which is an open invitation for emotional instability and health risks
such as heart problems, stroke or blood clots. Still sound fun and
exciting? There’s more. I watched a friend completely transition last year. When her dosage reached the stage
where the female hormones were at war with the male hormones, fighting for
control of the body, she was disoriented and confused while her brain was
changing its thought processes. To hear her tell it “it was hell”. Her
advise was that “if you can live a productive life as a man, then you
should remain a cross dresser and call it a day – because transition is
the hardest thing I’ve ever done - it was much more difficult than I
could have ever imagined. But, I had no choice, I was born a woman – just in the
wrong body, if I did have a choice, I would never have chosen this.” “Taking hormones
for the benefit of easier girl maintenance is as absurd as taking heroine
to relax”, Lisa Jackson told me. I
have always been known to “tell it like it is”, so when Tarren asked
me why I don’t come clean and reveal what I know first hand, even though
I would have to admit being a fool myself – it was Truth or Dare time.
So I hope admitting I am an idiot prevents someone else from making a big
mistake. I consider myself a
TG with TS tendencies, and yet I now realize that I am nowhere near ready
to have made the commitment that I have, and couldn’t tell you as of
this article what I will ultimately chose to do. I can’t stress enough
the importance of doing your homework, making sure such a decision is what
you really want, and if so, doing it the right way. It seems trendy these
days for CD’s to identify as TG, which they assume is a TS in training.
But Tarren told me, “It is not a
stepping stone as some might think, from Fetish to CD to TG to TS, It
doesn't work like that, your either born a TS or your not”. Here is my simple transition test: 1) are you ready, actually relieved at the idea of cutting your penis off? 2) If you couldn’t live as a woman would you consider suicide? If you answer yes to these questions, then you are ready for step two – get a therapist. “Drama Of The Gifted Child”, has a chapter about therapists, some of which can do more harm then good, treating you for THEIR best interest, nor yours. Do the homework to find the right therapist – It’s not about grades, it’s about your life. As
always, be happy, be safe, and think pretty.
© 2004 - Brianna Austin - All Rights reserved |
ave
you ever wondered what taking hormones would be like? If it would make you
look, feel and act more like the girl you sometimes dream of becoming?
Have you ever said, “I’ll just try it and see if I like it?”
Here’s the answer - you will love it, and that may be a problem.