Stepping Out - A T-Girl, A Poem, and the Mainstream

By Brianna Austin

** Dedicated to a friend who has many gifts that I hope one day he will recognize

Night falls on desperate eyes
While scavenger's scurry about for the prize
Chasing images of my own grand design
Illusions, of a different kind

Lost in a waking dream
It hurts inside
Broken spirit - broken pride

The illusion fades, for it was just a short story
floating on the hope of all my glory
And in the end there was no end
Just another journey interrupted

Who am I to play a part….
a role amongst the living
Who would want a part of me? ….
To give what I am taking, or take what I am giving

The illusion of what I could be from the start, was my own imagination
I see that now, I created this need, this drive
It was me who brought the script alive with whims and fascination

I would scream, whimper really for help to find the pain
Which hid throughout my body in the shadows like a game
Give me strength god damn it ……
I just want understanding to be sane

Wandering into the night lost and alone
It hurts; a constant pain like in my shoe there is a stone……
of indecision, confusion
Looking back however, I have traveled far, and you know I think I've grown
Into what, into who? …… A life on loan

What do I create now at the crossroads of my depression?
What for me will replace the purpose of my burning desire
maybe, just maybe I had to walk through the fire
To clear my vision so that I could see
The images were not really about anything at all
Except my inability to be me

Copyright 2001 Brianna Austin All Rights Reserved

As always, be happy, be safe, and think pretty.
Brianna Austin

2002 - Brianna Austin Group - All Rights reserved.

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